As I’ve shared this progression idea of, “Father in the home to elder in the city to ruler in the Kingdom,” I keep getting the same question. They say,
“Tim, I get the ‘father in the home’ part, but elders and ruling part doesn’t make sense.”
Yeah, I understand why. Most people think “elder” means church board member, and “Kingdom of God” means an eternal vacation in heaven. There’s some truth to these perspectives, but neither are completely biblical.
The Biblical Progression for Men
While society may have lost this “noble task” of aspiring to be an overseer, Scripture hasn’t. Its vision for men is this:
Fatherhood in the home is training for eldership in the city.
Eldership in the city is training for ruling cities in the Kingdom.
The framework comes directly from 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1.
When discussing the qualifications for an elder, in 1 Timothy 3:4 Paul says:
“He must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children submissive. For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” (ESV)
The principle seems to be this: managing my home well qualifies me for broader leadership to help others manage their homes and affairs.
It’s the same principle we see in Proverbs 31:23, where the husband of the excellent wife has an outstanding reputation and sits as an elder at the city gates. The whole chapter describes her household management, and that qualifies him to sit among the leaders of the city. (Why our communities desperately need this elder role and the impact of its absence is a topic for a future post.)
But how does that connect to ruling in a Kingdom?
Let me unpack these two ideas a bit more from a biblical perspective. I’m honestly still wrestling with how to articulate this well, so please help me here as this (hopefully) starts to click for you.
First Objection: “Tim, isn’t 1 Timothy 3:4 about church eldership, not the city?”
Yes. Kinda.
“…for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?”
The confusion comes because we read “church” and think of our modern experience and understanding of “church.” This isn’t just talking about the guy who passes offering plates on Sunday mornings. Church leadership is included here, but there’s more to it than that.
Every biblical example of eldership we have points to governing in a city, not just religious functions. When Scripture talks about elders, they’re sitting at city gates (Proverbs 31, Ruth 4), making community decisions, settling disputes, serving people, and managing the common good of their city.
The word “church” (ekklesia) in 1 Timothy 3 is the same word used throughout Scripture for assembly or gathering. It’s a community of people, not just a Sunday service. I think we’ve domesticated this concept by limiting “elder” to church committees when the biblical vision is far broader: proven household stewardship qualifies men for civic influence and leadership in the community of faith.
Think about Boaz. He goes to the city gate, gathers the elders, and facilitates a legal transaction for Ruth and Naomi. That’s not church leadership—that’s civic eldership. These guys are known, respected, and trusted with community decisions because they’ve proven faithful in stewarding their households and businesses well.
This is why, in Titus 1:5, Paul says:
“…I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you…” (ESV)
Paul directs Titus to appoint city elders for the sake of the body of believers (i.e. the church) there.
This coincides with Paul’s understanding of the church (body of believers) being city-wide communities, not the isolated church corner buildings we have today. Paul writes “to the church in Ephesus, Corinth, Colossi, Philippi, etc.” Jesus does the same thing in Revelation 1 when he writes to the church in Laodicea, Smyrna, Sardis, etc.
So, yes, I think, “…how will he care for God’s church,” is more accurately understood as, “…how will he care for God’s people in that city?”
Second Objection: “Ok, but how do you get to Kingdom rule?”
Good question! And it’s a result of the same issue as before: we read our preconceived ideas into the text. In this case, it’s whatever one thinks of when they think of the Kingdom of God.
Stay with me here. This is important.
In Genesis 1:28, God creates mankind as His image-bearer and blesses them with a clear mandate:
“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion...” (ESV)
We were created to rule and reign with Him over His creation. This blessed authority was the original design.
In some ways, The Fall broke our ruling, but redemption doesn’t erase the original purpose — it restores it. Jesus didn’t come to evacuate us from earth; He came to restore earth under God’s rule with us as His image-bearing representatives.
This is where Luke 19 becomes critical. In the parable of the ten minas, the nobleman gives each servant one mina and says, “Engage in business until I come.” (More on this command to engage in business is coming in a future post, too.) When he returns, he evaluates their faithfulness with what they were given. The faithful steward who turned one mina into ten receives authority over ten cities. The one who turned one mina into five gets five cities.
Notice what the reward is: authority over cities. Not harps in heaven. Not eternal singing. Not floating on clouds. Actual governing responsibility in God’s Kingdom.
The point?
Fruitful management now qualifies you for greater management later.
Jesus isn’t just testing their financial skills, although that’s probably part of it. He’s showing that the way we handle what God has entrusted to us right now—our marriages, our children, our businesses, our communities—is preparation for ruling and reigning with Him in His Kingdom.
Paul echoes this in 2 Timothy 2:12: “If we endure, we will also reign with him.” The writer of Hebrews says Jesus is bringing “many sons to glory” (Hebrews 2:10). Revelation describes believers as those who will reign with Christ (Revelation 5:10; 20:6; 22:5).
“…and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.” Revelation 5:10 (ESV)
This isn’t fringe theology. This is the biblical narrative arc:
God created us to rule with Him, sin broke that, Christ redeems us and is preparing us now for our eternal role as co-rulers in His Kingdom.
👉🎙️ (Listen to the audio podcast associated with this post because I unpack these passages with much more detail. I also get into several other essential passages not mentioned here, especially around a clearer understanding of, “The Kingdom of God,” that the Master will one day inaugurate.) 🎙️👈
Why This Changes How I Live Now
What we do now — how we father our children, serve our wives, steward our businesses, lead in our communities — isn’t just about surviving until some escapism perspective of heaven. It’s training. It’s preparation. It’s qualification.
Every hard moment is developing skills I need to rule and reign with wisdom in the Kingdom.
When I navigate a difficult conversation with my teenager, I’m learning wisdom and patience. When I serve my wife, I’m developing servant-leadership and humility. When I make hard decisions in business, I’m building discernment. When I step into my community and serve the body of Christ, I’m practicing city stewardship. All of these are qualities I’ll need when ruling with God in the Kingdom.
None of this is wasted. It all matters eternally. I get a taste now of what it’s like to rule over what God has entrusted to me.
But fathering my home and my city is the testing ground, the proving ground, the training for serving in the Kingdom.
Where I Need Your Help
I’m wrestling with how to communicate this more clearly. I can’t give this entire explanation about the church and the Kingdom every time someone questions why I say “ruler in the Kingdom.” I need a more succinct way to connect these dots.
If you have thoughts on how to articulate this better, or another angle to approach it, I’d genuinely love to hear from you. I’m still working through this myself.
What I know is this: the topic matters. It has eternal consequences. And it transforms how we view everything we’re doing right now—not as meaningless grinding until we escape to heaven, but as purposeful preparation for the role God created us for from the beginning.
Join me in this discovery.
