I Found My Job Description in Scripture

Most men never see it. I almost missed it, too. It's the man I'm trying to become.

On most Tuesday and Friday evenings our family gathers in the living room to read the Bible together. We don’t do anything fancy. We go around the room and each person reads a few verses until we’ve finished the chapter. Then we discuss whatever stands out to us.

Reading the Bible together as a family

A few weeks ago we were many chapters deep into Ecclesiastes, which, if you’re unfamiliar with it, is a book that basically repeats over and over again how everything is meaningless. My kids especially latched on to the verse that says,

“But, my child, let me give you some further advice: Be careful, for writing books is endless, and much study wears you out.” - Ecclesiastes 12:12

Something tells me they won’t let me forget that one. Weeks later and they still frequently quote it to me! haha

I know how the book ends, so I’m trying to help them keep their focus on that, but most of our discussions ended up at a, “Well then, why even try?” kind of place. They were difficult discussions to navigate with younger kids and teenagers. I often fumbled through ideas, said, “I don’t know,” a lot, and looked to my wife with that, “Help me out here,” kind of look.

The moments of discussing Ecclesiastes weren’t our family’s most spiritually dynamic and engaging moments. Some parts where a struggle. But this is the role I’m in training for.

This isn’t the polished version. It’s not the pastor-on-a-stage-with-a-rehersed-message version. This is the real version where I’m underqualified, underprepared, and the only thing I have going for me is that I keep showing up.

The Noble Task

“The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.” - 1 Timothy 3:1

For years, I thought “elder” meant the old guys who pass offering plates or sit on church boards. I didn’t realize it was something to aspire to, a calling that connects who I am in my home to who I might become in my city, and eventually, who I’ll be in His coming Kingdom.

I’m not there yet. But I want to be.

So, with the help of AI, I traced every use of the word “elder” in Scripture, both the Hebrew zaqen in the Old Testament and the Greek presbyteros in the New, to build a complete job description. Not for a church position I’m applying for, but for the man I’m trying to become.

What I found was convicting because I still have so much growing to do, but also clarifying because at least now I have a heading to aim for.

Here’s the job description I found in scripture and how I’m trying to live it out, starting at home.

The Character Requirements

Scripture gives two qualification lists in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9. These aren’t natural abilities I can muster on my own. They’re the result of the Spirit working in me as I continue to walk with the Lord.

Reputation

• Above reproach (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6-7)

• Good reputation with outsiders (1 Timothy 3:7)

• Not a recent convert (1 Timothy 3:6)

• Respectable (1 Timothy 3:2)

• Upright (Titus 1:8)

• Holy (Titus 1:8)

Self-Control

• Self-controlled (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:8)

• Disciplined (Titus 1:8)

• Not a drunkard (1 Timothy 3:3; Titus 1:7)

• Not violent or quick-tempered (1 Timothy 3:3; Titus 1:7)

• Gentle (1 Timothy 3:3)

• Not quarrelsome (1 Timothy 3:3)

• Not arrogant (Titus 1:7)

Financial Integrity

• Not a lover of money (1 Timothy 3:3)

• Not greedy for gain (Titus 1:7; 1 Peter 5:2)

Family Leadership

• Husband of one wife (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6)

• Manages household well (1 Timothy 3:4-5)

• Children who believe and are submissive (1 Timothy 3:4; Titus 1:6)

Teaching

• Able to teach (1 Timothy 3:2)

• Holds firm to trustworthy teaching (Titus 1:9)

• Able to give instruction in sound doctrine (Titus 1:9)

• Able to rebuke those who contradict (Titus 1:9)

Relationships

• Hospitable (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:8)

• Lover of good (Titus 1:8)

That’s twenty-three qualifications. Twenty-three areas where I want God to form me.

The one that gets me most? Manages his household well. Paul’s logic is clear:

“If someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” - 1 Timothy 3:5

I can’t skip the home and go straight to serving my community. My home is the training ground that qualifies me to serve others outside my home.

The Core Responsibilities

But what do elders actually do, both in the home and outside the home? Are they guys who just meet once a month to discuss the church budget and pass offering plates on Sundays?

Here’s what I found in scripture:

Shepherding the Flock (1 Peter 5:2; Acts 20:28)

• Feeding — teaching God’s Word (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:9)

• Leading — guiding in righteousness, by example not control (1 Timothy 5:17; 1 Peter 5:3)

• Protecting — guarding against false teaching and external threats (Acts 20:29-30; Titus 1:9)

• Tending — caring for individual needs, praying for the sick (James 5:14; Hebrews 13:17)

Exercising Oversight (1 Peter 5:2; Acts 20:28)

• Paying careful attention to spiritual conditions (Acts 20:28)

• Guarding sound doctrine (Titus 1:9)

• Stewarding resources with wisdom (1 Timothy 3:4-5)

Teaching (1 Timothy 3:2; 1 Timothy 5:17)

• Public instruction (2 Timothy 4:2)

• Private counsel (Acts 20:20)

• Doctrinal defense (Titus 1:9)

My son slowly reading the Bible out loud in our family Bible reading time when he was learning to read.

What This Looks Like In My Home

I’m not an ordained elder. I’m not pursuing a church office. But I am pursuing the character and competence of an elder because these qualifications aren’t just for pastors and church board members. They’re the profile of a mature man.

And my family is where I practice.

Feeding. The schedule has changed over the years, but we read the Bible together several times a week. It’s clunky sometimes. My kids ask hard questions. I don’t always have answers. But this is where I’m learning to teach, not from a platform, but from our family’s living room with a posture of, “Let’s figure this out together.”

Leading. This means I resist passivity. I have a vision for where our family is going and what we’re becoming. Sometimes I lead with words. More often, I try to lead by showing up and doing the hard thing first.

Protecting. There are constant attacks on families today, not always obvious ones. The drift toward isolation. The lies we believe about ourselves and each other. I actively work to name those things and fight them, first in myself, and then in our home.

Tending. I’m learning to pay attention. To notice when my wife is overwhelmed. To see when my son is discouraged. To not just be present in the room, but present to the people in it.

Stewarding. Every month, Dana and I sit down and update our budget. We decide together how to use what God has given us, not just our financial budget, but our time budget on the calendar, too. It’s not glamorous, but it’s management. And management at home is training for management beyond it.

Praying. After we read, I lead us in prayer. When someone’s sick, I pray for them. On Friday evenings, my wife and I lay hands on our kids and pray a blessing over them. I haven’t done anything with anointing oil yet (James 5:14), but I’m learning to be the one who prays, not just the one who asks for prayer.

How I’m Learning to Serve

How do I do these things? First Peter 5:2-3 gives the pattern:

Willingly, not under compulsion. I’m learning to serve from genuine desire, not from guilt or a religious performance duty. Some days I lead my family because I know I’m supposed to, not because I want to. But I’m learning.

Eagerly, not for shameful gain. I’m learning to be motivated by love, not by how it makes me look. This is harder than it sounds when you reflect on this stuff publicly.

As an example, not domineering. I believe that my family will follow what I do long before they follow what I say. And I’m especially hopeful that I get some of this right with them now so my kids can pick up on where I leave off and go even further in their families one day.

The Accountability I’m Embracing

This isn’t a solo journey.

I’m accountable to Christ. Elders give account to the Chief Shepherd (1 Peter 5:4). That’s true for me now, with my family. I keep watch over their souls as one who will answer for it (Hebrews 13:17). That’s a very sobering task!

I’m accountable to other men. Elders don’t lead alone. Peter called himself a “fellow elder” (1 Peter 5:1). I need men around me who will tell me the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.

I’m accountable to those I serve. If I persist in sin, I should be rebuked (1 Timothy 5:19-20). That sounds intimidating, but it’s also a gift. It means I’m not left alone in my blind spots.

The Reward I’m Working Toward

“And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.” - 1 Peter 5:4

Crowns are worn by rulers, not citizens.

This is both a reward and a responsibility. I very much look forward to both. What I steward now prepares me for what I will rule then (Luke 19:17; Matthew 25:21). What I do today matters forever.

It All Starts at Home

The elder qualification that stands out to me most is “husband of one wife” who “manages his own household well.”

It tells me where this all begins. Not in a church. Not in a community. At my dinner table. With my wife. With my kids. In the ordinary, fumbling, Tuesday-night-Bible-study moments that nobody sees.

If I can’t shepherd my home, I can’t shepherd anyone else.

👉 Father in the home. Elder in the city. Ruler in the Kingdom.

That’s the progression. I’m at step one.

And if you’re somewhere on this journey too, I’d love to hear where you are. Reply to this email or leave a comment.