Self-Sufficiency Is Just Isolation with Better Systems
Our family doesn't need anyone. That's the problem.
I’ve set up our family to not need people. Not on purpose necessarily. It just kind of happened.
We homeschool. We homestead. We handle our own finances, fix our own stuff, and grow our own food. At first, it felt like stewardship, maybe even leadership.
But a few weekends ago, I read 1 Corinthians 12 with a group of people in my living room, and I’ve been wrestling with it ever since.
I’ve read it many times before, but what stood out to me this time is that Paul doesn’t seem to use the body analogy strictly as a suggestion or a teaching illustration.
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” - 1 Corinthians 12:21 (ESV)
And yet I think that’s precisely what my family has been saying to the body of Christ. Not out loud, of course, but functionally? We’ve engineered a life where we’re pretty self-sufficient.
I’m starting to think that independence is sometimes just well-organized isolation.
What I’m Actually Afraid Of
Sure, there’s the fact that the more I depend on others, the more they’ll see my imperfections. And I suppose there’s also the fact that it likely leads to more interpersonal conflicts and tension.
But the honest thing that scares me is how much trust I’d need to put into the body of Christ to be as dependent on others as the eye is dependent on the hand, or the hand is dependent on the feet. That’s 100% trust, maybe even helplessness, to be that dependent on others.
I Don’t Have the Framework Yet
I’m not going to give you five steps to interdependence. I don’t have them. What I have is a growing conviction that the way I’ve structured my family, for all its efficiency and security, is missing something essential. The body of Christ isn’t an optional add-on for families that can’t hack it alone. It’s the design. It’s how God intended households and the body of Christ to function within something larger than themselves.
So I asked that group in my living room, “What does it look like for us to live in greater dependence on each other?”
The first thing that came to mind for me is what it looked like when dependence was the default mode of operation for the body of Christ, not the exception.
And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. - Acts 2:44-47 (ESV)
I would love to experience that kind of interdependence with believers, but man, it feels so risky to be the first one to try it. Still, I bet the risk I’m protecting our family from is actually the thing that could make us stronger.
I don’t know what this looks like fully fleshed out, but I know the discomfort I’m feeling is the same kind of discomfort that, in the past, humbles me and sparks new growth.
I’m going to keep wrestling with this. I’d rather figure it out in public than perfect it in private.
Thoughts or feedback for me?
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